So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have demons in me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
