Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
