8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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