i barfeds in our rink
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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