perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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