I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
