i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
