Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
