first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
