He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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