I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
