it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
