worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
