I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
