I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
