bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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