Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
