and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
