We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
