the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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