i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
