someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
