Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
