y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
