I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
