Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
