how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
