He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
