I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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