I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Boobs are out for the taking
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
