I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
