Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
