I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
