God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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