I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
