halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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