That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Are we still banned from the library?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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