They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
