I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
