new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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