Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
