Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
