you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
