wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize