wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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