I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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