you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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