Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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