We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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