I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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