All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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