Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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