If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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