I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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