In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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