Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
