Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
