I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
