he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
