so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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