is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
