I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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