she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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